5 years ago I wrote on the subject of how difficult it is for boys to be boys because the classroom is not designed to teach boys the way they learn best. Instead, according to a video I referenced in that post and attested to by an experienced elementary school teacher that I know, classroom education is most conducive to girls.
You can read that post and watch the video here.
That was then. The whole world has changed in those few, short years.
Now, boys can’t be boys because exercising their “boyness” leads to what has been decreed by the culture as “toxic masculinity.” As the father of two boys (apologies to my 18 year-old for still calling him a boy) who is trying to raise men, I really hate that term. It is not right to equate “masculinity” in general with bad behavior, specifically.
Masculinity is God-designed and is very good. The kind of masculinity I’m talking about is best defined by the term, “meekness.” Meekness is a primary ingredient in the development of a real man…a gentleman. Meekness is power under control. It’s a term used for horses that have been saddle-busted or broken of their wildness. Extremely powerful horses are now brought under the control of the rider. Meekness means a man is “saddle-busted.” It means he is under control, not of a cultural agenda or mob rule, but under the control of his Maker.
It’s important to note that I didn’t say emasculated, which seems to be the implied goal of our radical culture. Instead, he maintains all the power needed to be what a man is designed to be: a strong protector and defender of those who cannot defend themselves. This is real manhood and I’m sorry for those who have fallen victim to those who are not real men…and I’m sorry for the real men who have fallen victim to a culture that no longer values them. That values us.
For me, I’m raising men and I will not apologize for teaching them and encouraging them to be masculine; to be strong and courageous. I am also teaching them to be compassionate, gentle and caring, and to treat ladies as they should be treated: with respect and dignity.
The question is not whether masculinity involves being strong and powerful. It is. The question is how he will use his strength and power. It is sadly true that too many adult males have never learned how to be real men (I would argue, a gentleman). but contrary to what is becoming popular belief, real masculinity is anything but toxic.
