Are you actively pursuing peace in your life? It usually takes great intentionality and always humility. Let’s be honest, neither of those comes easy. Conflict is exhausting and pride is strong. Even so, living in real peace is a worthy prize — something I’m trying to focus on and improve in my own life and the struggle is real!
Why the emphasis on “real peace”? Because I want to make sure you hear what it isn’t saying: peace is avoiding conflict at all cost.
Peace is never simply the absence of conflict; avoiding issues that cause tension. Peace is an inner reality such that, though there may be no outward outbursts or awkward conversation, it’s nowhere to be found due to inner turmoil and hard feelings that remain and grow… always!
Peace is achieved when we humbly approach another with the goal of mutual inner peace, addressing uncomfortable topics with the desire for both to walk away feeling heard, understood, and valued. It neither assumes nor requires 100% agreement nor does it assure we walk away better friends. It does mean we walk away in peace.
Sometimes fundamental disagreements lead to individuals parting ways*. That was the case of Abraham and Lot in the Old Testament and Paul and Silas in the New. In both situations, they parted on good terms, desiring God’s blessing on the other. The goal, then, is to approach the situation in such a way that each moves on with an appreciation for how the situation was handled—respectfully and peaceably; to have the conscience clear and inner turmoil resolved.
The hope is always that conflicts in friendship will result in a stronger bond. But even when they don’t, Christ can still be honored when we commit to a life of peace.
*Biblically, this does not apply to marriage. Get godly counseling and work it out.
