Several years ago, my friend, Todd, called me with news that he had developed terminal cancer. I remember hearing the strength in his voice. It was noteworthy, not only because he had just received the news no one wants to hear, but because my own voice was shaky as my heart sunk at the news.
I said, “Todd, you seem to be handling this better than I am.” His response has stuck with me and has been shared by me many times since that night on the phone. He said, “David, that’s because I’m the one who needed the grace rather than you.” He went on to tell me that as soon as the doctor said those earth-shaking words, the grace of God began cascading over his soul and the presence of God met him where he was and held him secure. It held him all the way to and through his final breath.
I’ve met with and sat with many others who have experienced this same kind of grace over the years since, but I’d never really felt it myself. I haven’t had to, I guess. That is, until now.
Saturday night, September 8, 2018, I got a call from my brother that our dad was in ICU in Jackson, MS, and it didn’t look good. He had experienced a severe asthma attack and was on a respirator and in a medically-induced coma. The Earth began to shake under my feet.
After a few moments of uncertainty as to what I needed to do, since it was Saturday night and I’m a pastor, my wife and elders of the church instructed me to get in the car and get to Jackson immediately. Under their guidance, I did that, still somewhat dazed, but certain that God was present—though I didn’t feel a peace about what I might possibly see when I got there.
The first part of the trip was a bit of a blur, filled with tearful prayers, remembering so many good times I have had with my Dad, and wishing and praying for so many more. I just wanted Dad to live. I wasn’t ready to give him up. Then, somewhere around Ft. Payne, I decided to put on some worship music. As I began to worship, it happened: the warm, calming drizzle of God’s grace begin to trickle over my soul. The further I drove, the greater the flow until the floodgates were opened wide. I thanked God for all He had given me. I prayed that His good and perfect will would be accomplished, and I determined to rest in His sovereign plan, whatever that was, because it would be right.
That first night was hard going into Dad’s room, seeing him unconscious, tubes coming out everywhere. That’s my Dad there. That’s Superman laying in that bed. I knew, though, that God was there, too, and that the real SuperMan had already died and risen to defeat death to give me and my Dad certainty of his future. I worshiped even more.
At the time of this writing, I’m still sitting in the ICU. Dad has been in there for 12 days and is improving, finally coming out of sedation yesterday. It’s been long and hard, but God has been so good. He has tested us, and His Spirit has confirmed to me His work in my life as He has taken us through this trial.
Even last Sunday night, as the doctor told us that he didn’t feel that Dad would make it through the night, I experienced an absolute piece. It was the grace of God flowing, meeting me where I was and giving me what I needed. He gave me grace for the moment and His grace has sustained me and my family until this day.
I don’t know what lay ahead, but I am even more certain of Who is already there with abundant grace at the ready. As one lady I met here put it: “If God brings you to it, He’ll bring you through it.” Amen to that.
I have been reminded over and over again, of Peter’s instruction in his first letter to those of us still in exile:
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead 4 and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you. 5 You are being guarded by God’s power through faith for a salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 You rejoice in this, even though now for a short time, if necessary, you suffer grief in various trials 7 so that the proven character of your faith—more valuable than gold which, though perishable, is refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:3–7 (CSB)
Until we go through the trials, we can feel and know that our faith is real because we have believed in Jesus, but it’s so easy to question it. It’s easy to wonder if the hard times came, could we really stand. Trials help us know that it’s real. They confirm the work that the Spirit has accomplished in our souls as we stand strong under the weight of suffering, even though it seems our knees should buckle. It is in those times the character of our faith is proven real and strong, resulting in the praise, glory, and honor of Jesus Christ!
