As I write this, my Dad lay in ICU at Baptist Hospital in Jackson with a very slim chance of recovery, medically speaking. On Wednesday he was set to go home today (Friday) but took a terrible turn sometime during that night. In an instant, everything changed.
That’s the way life is, isn’t it? Instantaneous changes. Unexpected twists and turns that happen so fast they leave our heads spinning, damaged from the emotional whiplash.
A tornado that appears from nowhere and wipes out a community in eastern Alabama in an instant. A car that comes crashing through a barricade, taking out a 39 year-old police officer and father of two young boys who never saw it coming. Just two of the many tragic circumstances that happened in the last week. Where was God in all of this? Why do these bad things happen? Why is God making my family go through something like this?
Those are normal questions that, frankly, I don’t ask much any more. Why? Because in a fallen world, the right question is why not? The whole world has rebelled against God so that God’s kind actions towards it are strikingly amazing and wholly unwarranted. Certainly undeserved.
Would I show kindness to people who openly and constantly rebel against me? Doubtful. Yet God not only shows mercy towards us sinners by not giving us what we deserve, He demonstrates grace towards those who are His and He uses all the horrible circumstances in life to actually make us stronger and more like Jesus. Again, I’m talking about His kids (those who have trusted Him and have been adopted by Him), but I’m amazed that He still often shows compassion even towards those who don’t want to be His kids. That says so much about His *compassionate nature!
Allow me to share something from my personal journal, the moment after I learned that something terrible had happened to Dad. I share this only because I think it shows just how good God is—not how “spiritually-minded” I am.
Thursday, March 7, 2019. 9:56AM
This morning Mom said Dad wasn’t stirring since a procedure to relieve fluid from his lungs [yesterday]. I knew that wasn’t good. [Just now,] Randy called to tell me they think he may have had a stroke. Whatever it is, it isn’t good. I know this is probably the last chapter. He is on a ventilator while they do a brain scan, but I believe this is it. I am broken-hearted but at peace. I don’t want this cup, yet I know Christ has already drunk it for me.
My hope for my family—for my Dad—is Jesus! The amazing mercy of Jesus who has given us 6 wonderful months [since Dad’s original illness] that He didn’t have to give us. In good times and in this, the deeply painful times, blessed be the name of the Lord. If He gives or takes away, His name is to be praised for He is good! His grace is sufficient.
I’m hurting for my Mom, too. She is emotionally destroyed through all of this and the only One who can comfort her is Jesus. I’m asking Him now that He will. God be praised.
The attitude expressed in that journal entry is all grace! God, in His mercy, began to hold me and tell me that everything is all right. None of us are super spiritual in those moments. I shed plenty of tears following that news—but God is a good Daddy, and good Dads always comfort their children when they’re hurt. I know—my earthly Daddy has always done that for me.
As it turns out, Dad didn’t have a stroke, but I don’t know that it matters at this point. He definitely was without enough oxygen for a time. They will take the next several days to a week to “test” him by turning down the ventilator to see how his body responds. They are not hopeful. I am only confident in the will of God, whatever that is. I know my God is taking care of my Dad (and can heal him if He chooses) and I’m praying He also takes care of my Mom.
If you’ve read this through, I’m asking that you simply pray for our strength and that Jesus is honored in our lives and that you will trust Him with yours.
You are welcome to comment on this. I only ask that you do it in the comments section here (below this post) because I am not on any social media for at least the month of March and so I won’t see it. Thank you!
*”Compassionate” should not be mistaken for passivity. God is also a righteous judge who will firmly correct His children and ultimately punish the wicked in righteous, wrathful judgement.
